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Stop Using Quotable Quotes To Justify Your Ailing Relationships…



Lesson One: Never Walk Alone

At barely 34 days to year end, I did promise to share my count down to 2017 with you as usual, however, with Lessons Learnt this time. So, today, I’m glad to share with you Lesson One. Please enjoy it!

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Sincerely, it’s been a very busy year for me because I switched careers and had to shuttle between working, learning on the job and pursuing some certificates (story for another day). That notwithstanding, it was also one very lonely year, though full of activities: How true that one can be in a beehive of activities and still be lonely.

…he who can’t ‘common’ walk with others, how can he ever run, leave off fly?

The boredom started when I fell out with some dear friends early in the year. Thankfully, I also made lots of awesome new friends who naturally should fill in the gap; however like they say, old wine always tastes better: I really missed my old friends; and though it’s cliché, I’ve come to somehow agree that old friends are (truly) better than new (*winks.) Well, maybe not literally better, but just saying that all my friends – old or new, are irreplaceable as each is a unique expression of God’s love to me.

I recently came across this popular quote by Bishop David Oyedepo which says, “Those who run run with few but those who fly fly alone”; and while I totally agree, I won’t be caught using that or similar quotes out of context to excuse bad behaviour or my ailing relationships. For he who can’t ‘common’ walk with others, how can he ever run, leave off fly?

Coming to think of it, Bishop Oyedepo is by every means an achiever; however, with the hundreds of great men around him and his millions of disciples and followers, is he alone really? Did Donald Trump run the presidential race alone? Did Jesus walk this earth alone?

So, is it ever permissible or justifiable to walk alone? What about when the only available option is having to live with toxic people?

I am not an advocate for keeping too many friends, but neither do I believe that anyone should walk alone! In the beginning, God said that it is not good that the man should be alone; which tells me that walking alone is contrary to God’s original intention and design.

Therefore, if I were to paraphrase Bishop Oyedepo’s quote,
I would rephrase it this way: It is often necessary to get away from the crowd to focus on things that really matter, after all, Jesus had to steal away from the crowd every now and then to catch some good breath. However, that must not be due to our inability to maintain healthy relationships. It must be planned, deliberate and occasional, not permanent.

So, is it ever permissible or justifiable to walk alone? What about when the only available option is having to live with toxic people?

My take on this is that at some point in life, every man will be inevitably left alone on the cliché O.Y.O (On Your Own) level. Citing examples from the Bible, Joseph was deserted several times. So was Jesus at His crucifixion. No man is immune. You will be on your own some day. However, that is meant to be a phase one aspires to shortly outlive. It shouldn’t be anyone’s permanent status.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that it is totally impossible to achieve anything alone. Notwithstanding, it is truly difficult, I must confess: life isn’t meant to be so hard.

On having to cope with toxic people, funnily, I have noticed that people mostly post ‘mi o ba torogun waye‘ kind of posts to excuse their inability to maintain good relationships. If everyone around you happens to be toxic and you have to keep wielding your sword to wade them off, then you need to be a bit introspective because chances are that you are the one who is toxic and needs urgent attention!

I now cherish friendships even more and I wouldn’t give any of my few friends up for anything.

Conclusively, I was truly busy in 2016. However, it is also true that I fell out with some people, which made work even more difficult because my favourite people weren’t around to share my leisure and little wins with me. Chai! All work no play makes Jack a very dull boy. It is very hard to walk alone I must confess.

However, I have now bitten the bullet, swallowed my pride plus the bitter pill and learnt my lesson. Even though I am naturally very reserved and wouldn’t move with so large a crowd, I now cherish friendships even more and I wouldn’t give any of my few friends up for anything. Every friend is a unique gift from God and therefore very special and irreplaceable to me. Moreover, there are no bad friends anywhere: only people who need to learn how to keep healthy relationships.

The lesson to learn is this. Whatever you do in 2017, never walk alone. Furthermore, stop using quotable quotes to justify your ailing relationships. Bite the bullet and swallow the bitter pill. Humble yourself and go work on your relationships like I am also determined to work on mine. Life is sweeter with people around, and the more they say, the merrier.

Thankfully, I have my friends back, and I wouldn’t throw them away again for anything in this world. Never. Because they mean the whole world to me.

This is also to say a big sorry to those whose hearts I broke this year for not keeping in touch. I am truly sorry. Blogging was much easier as a hobby. However, blogging as a profession turned out to be much more demanding than I expected (story for another day). But now that I am settling down fast, I will sure make it up to you all.

Please look forward with me to a very sweet and productive New Year garnished with spices of goodwill which comes only from great relationships!!!

Funmi Adebayo © 2016

 


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About Funmi Adebayo

Funmi is the Content Creator at makeadreamng.com, an initiative she set up to deliver Digital Marketing and other value-ad services to enhance the Visibility of Nigerian Brands and Startups. She renders Writing, Editing, Book Cover Design, Book Layout Formatting, eBook Conversions, Book Marketing, Author Page Creation, Blog Consulting, and related services through her FunmiAdebayoDotCom initiative. She also authors devotionals and journals, which she delivers through her Each Day Online initiative. Funmi is an Engineering graduate (with expertise in IT Service Delivery/Support, and Strategic Business IT).

One comment on “Stop Using Quotable Quotes To Justify Your Ailing Relationships…

  1. Funmi Adebayo
    November 28, 2016

    Reblogged this on MakeADream_NG.

    Like

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